That old lady

This evening I saw an old lady on my way home, and actually it wasn't the first time I saw her. I've seen her a couple times before. She never changes; she looks the same, wearing dull clothes and a veil, sitting on the sidewalk, with a glass containing some pennies. She is not young anymore; I can say that she is sixty something. I can't tell how long she had been sitting there but she was there this evening and I saw her. She must have been there for a very long time. 

Yes, she is an old beggar. An old beggar. I've seen many old beggars around the city but every time I walk home and see that old lady sitting on the sidewalk, in the heat of the midday sun or under the dim light, I could not help but pausing and coming back to give her some money. She would be happy then and say a little prayer for me, wishing me good luck and bright future. The first time I saw her, I was walking home and she was sitting on the sidewalk, begging for money. I didn't have much time to stop and give some money so I just passed but we shared glances and then I paused. I made a quick decision; I came back to give her some money. She was glad that I came back and said a little prayer for me. I smiled and immediately left. I didn't want to look back because I knew I'd burst into tears. That old lady, she doesn't deserve such life. She should have been at home, sitting on a rocker knitting while listening to music from radio.She deserves a better life. She's not young anymore. Why does she have to 'work' as beggar? Knowing the reality that she is an old lady who begs for money while people ignore her existence, pretending that she's not there--it destroys me. 

Some people say that some beggars are rich in actual; they become beggar because they don't want to work. They've told me that there are so many beggars and buskers around the city and reminded me not to give money to them, but how do people distinguish the 'fake' ones? I decide not to give money to child or teen buskers who sing in buses for money; the money they get would be given to either their parents, or their 'boss'. I never want to give money to a child beggar whose parents are around. Why should their parents work their children for money? Why don't they themselves just work to earn money and make living? Now speaking of old beggars, do I have to give or not? The old lady I've talked about so much, should I stop giving her money or not? What if she's a rich person in actual? 

source: http://almaadin.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/uang-receh.jpg

I know Patrick Star is dummy but sometimes he's brilliant. A brilliant quote by Patrick Star goes like this: "Trusting you is my decision, proving me wrong is yours". I decide to believe that the old lady I often times see sitting on the sidewalk begging for money is the one who really needs money; an old lady whose children are so damn irresponsible to take care of their elderly mother. I decide to believe that the old lady would really use the money people give to her for something good; for her to be able to survive in this very dog-eat-dog world. I decide to believe that every little prayers she says for me are sincere, and I believe that those prayers are sincere. Well, only God knows. 

I guess I'm shedding tears now. Can I have some sheets of tissue?