I was taking a bath and I hummed a song about Cinderella. I was surprised that I hummed the song and I ended up thinking about the story. Cinderella and her glass slippers. I find the story illogical, as the slippers don't break when Cinderella wear it (or probably hi-tech had existed before that the slippers were made of high quality glass that they would never break). But that was not what I was thinking about; I was thinking about Cinderella and her stepmother.
Cinderella is a folktale and there are some versions of the stories. The most well-known version we all know--which features the godmother, pumpkin-turned-chariot, and glass slippers--is Perrault's version, Cendrillon, written in 1697. The story focused on Cinderella's life and how she is always tortured by her stepmother and her stepsisters. Disney's Cinderella illustrates the stepmother, Lady Tremaine, as an evil old woman in Victorian dress, and I kind of dislike her hairstyle. She should have gone to hair salon and changed her hair style (and probably dye it shocking-red). Lady Tremaine treats Cinderella coldly and harshly while she spoils the daughters of her own, Anastasia and Drizella. Back when I was in elementary school, an English teacher asked us, the students, to read Cinderella story. In Bahasa Indonesia class, the teacher asked us to read story of Bawang Merah Bawang Putih, an Indonesian folktale whose plot is similar to Cinderella's (definitely, with some differences such as the absence of glass slippers and godmother). Bawang Merah Bawang Putih, just like what Cinderella does, portrays life of Bawang Putih, a kind-hearted girl who is mistreated by her stepmother and her stepsister. From the two stories, the fact Lady Tremaine is Cinderella's stepmother and she mistreated her stepdaughter (as for Bawang Merah Bawang Putih, the stepmother mistreating Bawang Putih) hit us with a conception about stepmothers--they are evil.
Not once, twice, or thrice I heard friends of mine referred to a person who did something bad as a stepmother. Yes, stepmother, and my friends did. Let's say a friend treats a junior harshly then she is referred to as a stepmother.
"You're so bad, like a stepmother"
Unconsciously we made a generalization about stepmothers (and until today I still feel sorry for having made such generalization). That a stepmother is evil, that a stepmother is artful, that a stepmother will leave you a great psychological pain; that's how we stereotyped stepmothers. Whenever anyone got a chance to ask us why we disliked stepmother, we would always refer to the story of Cinderella, saying that stepmother is a wicked person, mistreating and making Cinderella hurt.
The emergence of soap opera Bidadari (Angel) in 2000 could be another significant factor strengthening our perception about stepmothers. Starring Marshanda as Lala dan Moudy Wilhelmina as Lala's stepmother, Bidadari is an Indonesian soap opera version of Cinderella. Lala's life is miserable (despite the fact that she is actually rich and her father is still alive) and Mama (the stepmother) could not stop making Lala's life any better. If Cinderella has godmother and Bawang Merah Bawang Putih has goldfish as a heroine figure in the story, then Bidadari has ibu peri (fairy godmother) who always helps Lala every time she is in trouble. With children and mothers being the majority of the audience, Bidadari gained good ratings, as well as great number of audience. My girl friends often talked about the-last-night-episode and from their conversations, I knew that they felt pity of Lala and despised Lala's stepmother, wishing her to die. Again, speaking of stepmother, we already had our negative perception about stepmothers. Unfortunately, the emergence of Bidadari did not make any change to our perception.
Well, it did, but in a negative way.
In other words, most of my friends grew greater hatred toward (any characters representing) stepmothers after watching the soap opera. When doing a family role-play, there would be an antagonist playing as a stepmother who would torture any kids playing as children in the role play while character 'father' is away for work. The conception offered by Cinderella story and Bidadari has led us to the making of perception about stepmother--which was unfortunately negative. Back then a friend of me told us that her cousin rejected her father's idea of marrying a woman since she realized that the woman her father would marry would, soon, become her stepmother and, unfortunately, she had already had negative perception about stepmothers. Soon, we talked about stepmothers; we did not want to have a stepmother and we should never let a stepmother come into our life in any way.
Folktales (legends, myths) always have didactic purpose; that's what a teacher told us. So what could be learnt from Cinderella? Be a good person, be a hardworker, and never let a stepmother come into your life. Really? We believed in the lessons back then, especially the third lesson.
Thinking about what I perceived back then.. I feel so stupid.
As I grew older I started to think about my perception. Is that true that stepmothers are as evil as the one in Cinderella? I met new friends and some of them have stepmothers. I asked them how they felt to have a stepmother and the answers struck me like a lightning, changing my perception toward stepmothers.
A friend said, "My stepmother is so cool"
Then I thought to myself, "So what I've read and watched have misled me" The conception of character stepmother in Cinderella stories (including Bawang Merah Bawang Putih and soap opera Bidadari) was so misleading that my friends and I made an unfortunately wrong generalization about stepmothers. I questioned myself how come I make such perception and how come my friends shared similar perception. Then I realized that maybe it is because nobody warned us not to generalize that we just came to the conclusion that stepmothers were wicked. There wasn't any warnings to remind us that not all stepmothers are evil, so we were free--and unconsciously forced--to believe in such idea of stepmothers. Now I wonder if back then somebody told us that not all stepmothers are wicked, would such fear of stepmothers haunt us? Would we make such negative perception toward stepmothers? There was not any prevention. We were free to believe what the story and the soap opera showed and make generalization based on what we believed, without realizing how the generalization could put one party--all stepmothers in the world--in a bad position. It must be hard for a stepmother when she finds out her children dislike her just because the children believe that stepmothers are evil.
And I really am sorry that back then I made such perception. I was just a kid though.
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