Once upon a dream

I feel like swallowing thorns. Thousands of thorns. They're stuck there in my throat, so my throat bleeds. I can't scream. I can't ask for help. I feel like two black buttons have been sewn to my eyes, blocking my sight. I can't open it. I wish I was able to cry but I am not. My tears are now boiling, like the water of hell. It burns me. I feel like my head is going to explode. I can feel the crack in my skeleton. My brain is dysfunctional. I feel like dying. 

But you wouldn't understand. You would never understand. Crying is not your thing and you hate it when someone's crying. Well I feel like crying but I can't cry, because I don't want you to hate me. Why can't you just stab my back, or cut my throat? I'd die for you, but would you do it for me? You think you know what's happening inside of me, but actually you don't. I don't know what's going on, too. What's happening? Why am I being like this? Why do I hate myself so bad?