Slowpoke

I don't think it's necessary to tell you all about what I am, what I've been (actually) feeling all this time but since I can't hold it anymore, I'm just gonna spit it out here. I'm sad. I actually feel sad. I've been actually feeling sad for about two months. I might not show the world that I'm sad, but deep inside my heart, I feel hurt. Not broken tho, but quite hurt. 

What happened? Who hurt me? 

I'm disappointed in myself. I must have been slowpoke all this time, doing everything slowly, lazily as if I had much time yet, in fact, I didn't have much time and now I realize I'm gonna miss the train. When I see my friends, one by one, finish their final research and graduate, I feel happy for them and, at the same time, feel broken. Why can't I be like them? I once thought of reasons why I couldn't finish my research as soon as possible. I might be a slowpoke, or I might have short-span attention, turning my attention from my research to something else within seconds, or I might be just too stupid to conduct a research. 

Shit! I wish I can say more but I don't know what else to say.