Lately I've dealt with the loss of beloved belongings, as well as relatives or friends. Somebody stole my jacket which was a gift from my mom. My uncle passed away two days ago which shocked me. Some friends of mine posted statuses and photos of the death of their relatives. I have to be honest (as much as I wanted). I fear death and I fear losing people I love. What has happened lately has made me kind of scared. Yeah.. it has made me scared, as badly scared as a human being can be.
The fear has made me so anxious. My mom goes to work every day and ever since I dealt with the loss, I have been asking her too many questions like "Where are you going?" or "When are you going to be home?" Well, seriously I've been feeling scared and the fear haunts me every day like a nightmare. I don't tell people that I've been feeling scared. Nor I show them how I'm so scared. But I think the way I ask people too many questions on such thing must have given them clues on my over anxiety.
My parents attended my uncle's funeral and they had to stay in my grandma's house for a couple days since the family decided to bury my uncle in the hometown of my grandparents. My uncle died of heart attack and his sudden, unimaginable demise shocked me so bad that I ran from my home to met my friends and cried. Before leaving home, I repeatedly asked my mom when she and dad would be home and how long they would stay there in my grandma's hometown. I didn't contact my parents while they were away but I kept thinking of them and felt scared every night. I didn't want to lose my parents. I prayed to God that no harm could hurt them.
It's not only about my parents. I've been worrying about my close friends as well. It scares me to know that a close friend of mine got caught in the rain in the night. I've kept praying to God that He will protect my family and my friends and that I don't have to deal with such loss again.
Is it normal to feel this way? When I told my mom that I had this kind of over-anxiety, she told me it was normal to feel that way. Now the question is, how long would I have this kind of extreme anxiety?
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