Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Oh

Tuesday afternoon was always cold, at least for him. Dimitri went home and no one knew he was sobbing on his way home. He was sobbing, yet no tears fell from his eyes. His heart was hurt, for some bad fellows at school talked bad about him behind his back. So bad that he couldn't believe that the betrayal was so true. Dimitri kept wondering why people were so harsh, and life has been so harsh as well. He was no longer a kid and he knew that. Running away was for cowards and he knew he wasn't a coward. But the pain was pain, and pains hurt. 

Keeping all thoughts by himself, Dimitri didn't find something to yell at. Breaking plates would be useless and punching mirror would never solve his problems and heal his heartache. He could not yell at Demian, nor at Edgar. He could not yell at the whole class, calling them bad bitches and sons of bitches. He dared not to yell at people. He wished he could kill someone but a voice inside his head told him not to do so, yet he realized he should kill someone, or at least hurt someone. He was looking for someone to kill but again that voice told him not to do that. 

Screams were screams, and tears were tears. He turned the tap on and water filled his tub. As it reached two third of the tub, he turned the tap off. He got in and lay with his eyes open, seeing world from underwater. It didn't hurt when a small cutter cut his arms. Water turned red. Tears turned red, and screamed turned bubbles. Everything felt so good. Dimitri wasn't hurt. Everything was fine for him. 

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